Waswas and split personalties part1

I cannot write to advise and remind others and myself of sticking to aspects of the Deen without addressing the fact that we have shaytans within us.
The Prophet sallalahu alayhi wasalam said: “There is none among you with whom is not an attache from amongst the Jinn.” They, the Companions said: “Allah’s Apostle, with you too?” Thereupon he said: “Yes, but Allah helps me against him and he does not command me but for his own good. (Sahih Muslim 6757)

At the same time,
For each (person), there are angels in succession, before and behind him.[] They guard him by the Command of Allâh. Verily! Allâh will not change the good condition of a people as long as they do not change their state of goodness themselves (by committing sins and by being ungrateful and disobedient to Allâh). But when Allâh wills a people's punishment, there can be no turning back of it, and they will find besides Him no protector. Quran(13:11)
So even as we feel the battle within ourselves, we should know that it is not a force of shaytan present, but also a force of good.

Iman is a fluctuating thing. It could be filling to the brim but, not always. And may Allah Ta’alah ease the hardships and temptations for us. Amin. It is difficult, but the path to Jannah has to be.

Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere
Quran (2:155)

So there are 2 types of people in the world…no inbetweens, no grey areas. Those that will lead you to Jannah and those that will lead you to Hell. So this pushing away the bad influences may be one way to survive this dunya as a perservering muslimah. Inshallah! I’ve noticed with myself that once you divide the people around you into these two, and avoid the latter, things get abit easier. It is tough saying so and so will lead me to hell, but it will be for the greater good, Inshallah.

Ok, so no one is perfect, Allah made us weak…only angels will ever perfectly, tirelessly devote every minute without one sin.

The Prophet said, "When Allah ordains something on the Heaven the angels beat with their wings in obedience to His Statement which sounds like that of a chain dragged over a rock. His Statement: 'Until when the fear is banished from their hearts, the Angels say, 'What was it that your Lord said?' They reply, 'He has said the Truth. And He is the Most High, The Great.' " (34.23)
Sahih Bukhari 3:573, Narrated Abu Huraira

WASWAS
This simply means the whispering of Shaytan. I had to write on this because its something I battle with a lot. I try to be a perfectionist but when it comes to wudhu for example, I wonder have I washed this thrice or, did I miss that rakkat, is this halaal, is that permissible. I guess it is another extreme.
A psychologist would say this is OCD, Obsessive Complusive Disorder. However it does not explain why it occurs when I’m doing something connected to Islam. If it was OCD, it would plague me throughout my daily activities. Clearly, Shaytan does not bother me with the doubt-filled whisperings when I’m doing anything else.

Ya Allah,

I am weak, for You made me weak,
Out of mud, I am moulded easily
I can be red-hot, burnt in the kiln
I can be ice-cold, frozen and numb
I can be spineless, squelching under trodding shoes
I can be hard, yet easily broken

So with this weakness,
I beg for strength

Strength to cool the heat and heat the cool
Strength to harden before trodden on and soften with humility.

Amin

ANGER

Slightly irritated,
Annoyed,
Fuming,
Boiling rage,

Anger at whatever level is intense. Even when just a slight moment of irritation, it is like a prick, a stinging sensation that peters away once its finished wreaking havoc on the moment.
It is sometimes viewed as a part of the fight or flight brain response to the perceived threat of harm.
Heart rate goes up, so does blood pressure, and levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline .

So that hot feeling somewhere in the midst of the tightening chest is questioning your brain, "whaddare you going to do about it!" Forget the science of it, that moment has no time for reason!
Whatever it is that has got you to that state, for the hot tempered like myself, nothing else makes sense except that red angry angry angry moment and sometimes it can end up regrettably.

After such situations, after calming down, then thinking about ayats like the one below, I can’t help feeling SO guilty.

Verses like Qur'an 3:133–134 say "Be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Garden whose width is that (of the whole) of the heavens and of the earth, prepared for the righteous; Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men;- for Allah loves those who do good.", thereby hinting at the fact that anger management is a tact that Muslims need to learn in order to attain salvation

I’ve read self help books, learnt the meditation and counting therapies when you begin getting angry, but seriously that’s the last thing on my mind if I get to that level. But I’ve got to get this sorted...and it’s funny how specific people i.e. the husband have the talent of bringing out this feeling. Quicker than anything, I need strength!

It’d be nice to hear how you deal with times like these…

Brooding doesn’t help, it prolongs the explosion…I must sound terrible, I’m almost always the innocent one!

Prophet Muhammad sallalahu alayhi wasalam is reported to have said said: "A strong man is not he who defeats his adversary by wrestling, but a strong man is he who controls himself at the time of anger."
Sahih Bukhari

Allah's Messenger sallalahu alayhi wasalam Said: a Muslim is never allowed to stay angry with his Muslim brother over three day's , because he who does that, then dies will go to hell ( FIRE ) . ( This is reported by Abu Dawood ) (Sahih Al - Jami ) ( page 7609).
“ Anger is the effect of shaytaan and shaytaan was created from fire. And water extinguishes fire."

In Tabraani . ( A book of Hadeeth ). It is narrated that Rasulullah sallalahu alayhi wasalam Said : Who ever controls there temper Allah will take away punishment from him and who so ever safe guard's his tongue Allah will conceal his sins. In another Hadeeth which is narrated in (Tirmizi and Abu Dawood): Rasulullah sallalahu alayhi wasalam said: Who ever controls their temper in a state that if he wanted he could have took revenge. Then On the day of judgement Allah will call him in front of everyone and will give him the choice of picking the Hoor of his choice.
The remedy for anger is that when a person who is angry should control his anger . It has been said there are three way's shown to control ones Anger.

1). is to say Ta'awwuz.

It is narrated in Bukhari that two people were arguing in the presence of Rasulullah salalahu alayhi waslalam. One of the two became so angry that his face went red and his veins swelled. Rasulullah sallalahu alayhi wasalam lifted his face towards that person and said to him that I know a sentence if you were to say it your anger will go away. The sentence is ( taw’wz ). The translation is as follows:
Audhu billahi mina shaytani rajim

I seek refuge in Allah from satan the rejected one

2). is to do Wudu (Abolution ) or drink water.

Dawud, Narrated Atiyyah as-Sa'di AbuWa'il al-Qass said: We entered upon Urwah ibn Muhammad ibn as-Sa'di. A man spoke to him and made him angry. So he stood and performed ablution; he then returned and performed ablution, and said: My father told me on the authority of my grandfather Atiyyah who reported the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) as saying: Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.

3). is to lie down on the floor.

also, Ayatul Kursi and a 2 rakaat salaah...

Crying in frustration in isolation is my usual method, but its got to be in isolation because a “are you ok? Don’t cry” will only make things worse. This method is not really working...at all.
Inshallah will have to try to remember these methods next time anything happens, Inshallah not for a long looong looong time.

Menstruating and missing out.

I’m not a very shy person, knowledge would be wasted if shyness overpowered it. So here goes...
A muslimah during that time of the month cannot make salah(pray). The periods are a najis(dirt) and one must stand in utmost purity before Allah. Some of the Companions of the Prophet sallalahu alayhi wasalam used to pray with wounds from war. This sort of blood is clearly different from the one from the lining of the uterus. It is a shedding and a sort of release of this impurity. That is not to say that women are impure on a spiritual level.

But Allah knows how man twists at every chance they get the Truth to make it sound terrible. He says:

"We have cited in this Quran every kind of example, but the human being is the most argumentative creature."18:54

Many condemn Islam of reducing the status of women, making them less closer to God because of this inability to pray. The verse in the Quran that deals with this is in
Al Baqarah aya 222 which can be translated as:

"They ask you concerning menstruation (mahid) Say: it is a hurt (adha) Therefore keep away from them during their menstruation and go Not unto them until they have become clean (Tahara) And when they have cleansed (Tatahhara) then go into Them as Allah has ordained for you."

Allah who created us from a drop of sperm acknowledges that it is a ‘hurt’, like an illness and because of this it would not be fair to demand from us what He would demand of men who do not experience this ‘adha’. The hormonal changes, the cramps that vary from some women who do not feel a thing to some who are completely bed-ridden. It is a break for us from fasting, conjugal relations and prayer.

The implication of this ayat is in regards to the sexual relations between man and women during the menstrual cycle. However, we learn several other things from this aya that applies to women and menstruation in regards to other aspects of Islam.
The way Muslimahs carry themselves during this times is the best for the personal hygiene and cleanliness of the Islamic household.

Allah, All Wise says:

*{Should He not know what He created? And He is the Subtile, the Aware.}* (Al-Mulk 67:14)

Like the impossibility of a ship with no captain travelling to a precise destination with no crew, loading and unloading cargo and returning to the original port constantly at precise times, it is impossible that our bodies that conduct daily functions, the lungs, the heart beating, the nerve synapses, our bodies are a testament to the Greatness of Allah. We are in ourselves evidence of His perfect designs.
So He knows us better than we know ourselves, He has given us the Manual to optimum use of these gifts.

In a hadith narrated Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri and Abu Huraira the Prophet said: “No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari.)

This shows the Grace of Allah. Even though women miss out on these days, Allah compensates them as if they did the salah or the fast...Subhannallah, truly Allah is Al Hakim.
Thus its not fair for people to deduce that Islam views women impure and dirty in the spiritual sense, or that we cannot perform some of the usual ibadat and that makes Islam discriminatory. It is for our own comfort.

And when you turn the pointing finger 180degrees, you find that the Christian and Jewish Old Testament claims that a woman’s impurity at this time "infects" others as well. Anyone or anything she touches becomes unclean for a day: "When a woman has her regular flow of blood, the impurity of her monthly period will last seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till evening. Anything she lies on during her period will be unclean, and anything she sits on will be unclean. Whoever touches her bed must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening. Whoever touches anything she sits on must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening. Whether it is the bed or anything she was sitting on, when anyone touches it, he will be unclean till evening" (Lev. 15:19-23).

Due to her "contaminating"; nature, a menstruating woman was sometimes "banished" in order to avoid any possibility of any contact with her. She was sent to a special house called "the house of uncleanness" for the whole period of her impurity. The Talmud considers a menstruating woman "fatal" even without any physical contact: "Our Rabbis taught:....if a menstruant woman passes between two (men), if it is at the beginning of her menses she will slay one of them, and if it is at the end of her menses she will cause strife between them" (bPes. 111a.)

The Prophet maintained contact with his wives during their menses. There was no exclusion, or them being made to feel shameful for their nature.

294: BukhariNarrated 'Aisha:While in menses, I used to comb the hair of Allah's Apostle .

So what sort of Ibadat can we perform at these times?
We can still maintain a spiritual connection with Allah through duas, sadaqah, dhikr or remembrance of Allah Ta’alah. We can recite Quran silently in our hearts. And Inshallah, our day will be as if we prayed the best of salahs. Amin.

Sunnah fasting

I have been known to be a notorious sneak during Ramadhan in my childhood. I guess I was too greedy for my own good. I’ve been caught in the act, red handed, hand in the cookie jar, literally. To-date I must admit my track record in fasting is horrendous. I do feel guilty. So because I’ve lost track of how many disobedient fasting days I had, I now try once in a while to do a Sunnah fast.

The Prophet salalahu alayhi wasalam said that on the day of judgement, if the fardh acts are found to be sound, the person will be successful, but if any deficiency is found, the Lord Who is Blessed and Exalted will issue instructions to consider whether His servant performed any voluntary (nafl) of the same act (prayer, fasting etc)
-Hazrat Abu Hurairah-Tirmishi, Ibn-E-Majah.

Today is one of those days.

Rasulallah salallahu alayhi wasalam used to fast some Mondays and Thursdays among other days.
As for fasting Mondays and Thursdays, Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to fast on Monday and Thursday. On being asked about that the Prophet said: "Deeds are presented on every Monday and Thursday. Allah forgives every Muslim or every believer, except for those who are forsaking each other. He says [about them]: 'Leave them.' " (Reported by Ahmad with authentic chain of narrators)
It is recorded in Sahih Muslim that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) when asked about fasting on Monday, said: "That is the day on which I was born and the day on which I received revelation."

We already know the importance of sunnah, as we try to emulate the Prophet sallalahu alayhi wasalam in what he did. "Ye have indeed in the Messenger of Allah a beautiful pattern (of conduct) for any one whose hope is in Allah and the Final Day, and who engages much in the Praise of Allah.” (Al-Ahzab: 21) Even though its a pretty high bar to set, we can only try what we can.
It’s quite cleansing, like a detox, that is until the hunger really strikes.
So to console myself I went on a search on the benefits in the Hereafter.

The reward of saum is with Allah, al saum li wa ana ajzi ‘anhu- (Bukhari K30 B2) I suppose this means its like a surprise, no one really knows what it is except Allah of course.

The reward is more if saum is undertaken while on the path of Allah, sabiil al laah. (Bukhari K56 B36)
Like the Battle of Badr, the first major battle, the Muslim army were fasting. It was in Ramadhan 2AH. I can’t imagine myself in that heat let alone fasting and facing an army outnumbering them 3 to 1. But Alhamdullilah Allah rewarded their bravery by sending angels to assist this David peace be on him and Goliath situation.

Allah says: Al-i-Imran 3:123–125 (Yusuf Ali). “Allah had helped you at Badr, when ye were a contemptible little force; then fear Allah; thus May ye show your gratitude.§ Remember thou saidst to the Faithful: "Is it not enough for you that Allah should help you with three thousand angels (Specially) sent down?§ "Yea, - if ye remain firm, and act aright, even if the enemy should rush here on you in hot haste, your Lord would help you with five thousand angels Making a terrific onslaught.§”

Those who undertake saum will enter jannat through the gate of rayyaan, al saimuun yadikhuluun al jannat min baab al rayaan (Bukhari K30 B4)

Saum will be an intercession in the hereafter, al saum shafa’at yawm al qiyamat (Ahmad 2:17)

If one feels too tempted, it’s okay to break the fast.
Volume 3, Page 129: It is permissible for one who is performing a voluntary fast to break his fast Umm Hani reported that the Prophet, upon whom be peace, entered her room during the day of the conquest of Makkah. He was offered something to drink and he drank from it. Then he offered it to Umm Hani and she said: "I am fasting." The Prophet said: "The one who is fasting voluntarily is in charge of himself. If you wish you may fast and if you wish you may break your fast." This is recounted by Ahmad, ad-Daraqutni, and alBaihaqi. Al-Hakim also related it and said that its chain is sahih. The version he recorded states: "And if one wishes he may fast and if he wishes he may break his fast."

Inshallah I’ll keep at it until this long summer day is over.

Barakallahu feeki!

To Mum, the Strength of a Woman, and the story of Ayub alayhi salam.

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ In the Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Most Kind

There’s something about a woman, can’t put my finger on it. Something that just…endures. Endures pain, endures the tough times, and endures for others. A pregnant woman, a die-hard mum, a tolerant wife. The pain threshold must be really high. Emotional and physical –wise. I dedicate this to my Mother.

I will never know the pain you suffered through out the years, the emotional rejection for our sake. Toiling day and night for our pleasure, bending for our comfort. When you bore me, the eight hours in that pain and got back the most stubborn child, ungrateful teenager in return and yet you still stayed through the tough years to see me grow. The rudeness, the arguments, the never ending stress caused between mothers and their daughters, is only one I look back in remorse.
Growing now, living now as you did then, I appreciate what you went through. I appreciate what you taught. I appreciate who you are.
This life is short and I can’t help remembering crying at about eight or nine when I asked you and abo will die one day? And you said yes. And I couldn’t believe that there would be life without you. Without your hugs and your reassurance. My head and heart doesn’t let me dwell on that thought for long, I just cannot…They say there’s no love on earth like the love of a mother.
In this difficult time, this time of uncertainty, I only pray I could love you just the same.

The Prophet (peace and blessing be
upon him) instructs us to: “Pray to God for
forgiveness and sound well-being. No
blessing other than faith is better than
well-being."
Sahih Al-Bukhari

Related by Ahmad: Prophet Muhammad sallalahu alayhi wasalam said: "God has not created a disease without creating a cure for it, which may be known to some and unknown to others."

“Rabbu inni massani-yadh-urru wa ‘anta arhamur-Raahimeen"
O my Rabb(Lord, Sustainer, Cherisher, Master), Surely, distress has touched me, and You are the Most Merciful of the merciful ones.
-Surah al-Anbiya; 21:83 (Chapter of the Prophets) –what Prophet Ayyub alayhis salam (Job peace be upon him) recited when he was afflicted with various calamities but only displayed patience…

Here is his story…

The Prophet Ayub (peace be upon him) was a prosperous man with firm faith in Allah. He possessed vast farms, enormous wealth, many cattle and valuable property but these things did not make him arrogant. His wealth provided him with a medium by means of which he sought Allah's grace.

The Prophet Ayub (peace be upon him) was a pattern of humility and faith in Allah. He was very patient. He suffered from a number of calamities but did not utter a single word of complaint. One day his big farm was attacked by the thieves. They killed many of his servants and carried away forcibly all his cattle. The Prophet Ayub (peace be upon him) did not feel sorry at this loss and thanked Allah.

After some time the roof of the house fell down and many members of his family were crushed. The Prophet Ayyub (peace be upon him) was much shocked but he held fast to his faith in Allah. He neither shed a tear nor heaved a sigh. He prostrated before the Almighty. He remarked that possessions and children were the gifts from Allah. If He had taken His things, it was useless to lament over their loss.

After a few years Prophet Ayub (peace be upon him) suffered from skin disease. His parts of body were covered with loathsome sores. He had many ugly looking ulcers on his face and hands. The sores were full of worms. It is narrated that he picked up those worms which fell from his abscess and praised Allah for creating them.

Above all, his false friends attributed his calamities to his sins. They ridiculed and looked down upon him. All the persons deserted him with the exception of his faithful wife, Rahima. She also grew tired of him in the long run and prayed for his death. She cursed her husband for retaining integrity in Allah. When Prophet Ayub (peace be upon him) was in an extremely pathetic condition he prayed:

"Truly adversity has afflicted me and You are Most Merciful of all who show mercy." (Surah 21: Verse 83)

Allah accepted his prayer. The Holy Quran affirms:
"Then We heard his prayer and removed that adversity from which he suffered, and We gave him his household and the like thereof along with them, a mercy from Our store and remembrance for the worshippers." (Surah 21: Verse

Allah turned to him with mercy. He was commanded to strike the earth with his foot. He complied with the order and water from the spring gushed forth. He took a bath with the water and got cured from his evil disease. After this he was restored to prosperity. The Prophet Ayub (peace be upon him) knelt and prayed expressing a deep sense of gratitude to Allah. He never forgot His favours, mercy and love.

The Prophet Ayub (peace be upon him) was one of the celebrated Prophets. His example illustrates: that those who remain patient under the stress of all circumstances, are never deprived of high rewards. The Holy Quran affirms:
"And surely we try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and crops, but give glad-tidings to the steadfast, who when a misfortune befalls them, say lo! we are Allah's (possession of Allah) and to Him shall we surely return. · Such are they on whom are blessings from their Lord, and mercy. Such are the rightly-guided." (Surah 2 : Verse 155-157)

When you have
taken a decision, put
your trust in Allah.
Surah Al-’lmran
3:159-160

A smile!

Keep it positive folks, the suns shining, the winds are whistling and summer is here! There’s something about the summer that lifts the moods and everyone is out from hibernation.

Don’t let a thing drag you down. They say…someone who is rich doesn’t want anything. Is happy as they are.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "Charity is prescribed for each descendant of Adam every day the sun rises." He was then asked: "From what do we give charity every day?" The Prophet answered: "The doors of goodness are many...enjoining good, forbidding evil, removing harm from the road, listening to the deaf, leading the blind, guiding one to the object of his need, hurrying with the strength of one's legs to one in sorrow who is asking for help, and supporting the feeble with the strength of one's arms--all of these are charity prescribed for you." He also said: "Your smile for your brother is charity." - Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 3, Number 98

Anyone whose ever felt down in the middle of town or some street walking alone will know the power of another’s smile. It says more than words could. So this is a smile through the virtual confines of the internet to someone out there to in turn smile and be positive!

End of a chapter

Assalamu alaykum,

I haven’t been online much thanks to my finals, and now the last exam is finally over, I’m just more than elated! The real world beckons with an ominous background dash of DRUM ROLL…uncertainty. It's just surreal.

I always rant about exams…really they do not correctly ascertain whether someone will be a good lawyer for example. During all my exams, what sticks out is the things I just read as I was panting down the hallway with my can of red bull. It’s the art of cramming isn’t it. With all the hate I have for exams, I’m still yet to think of a substitute for it…man do I hate it!

But AlhamdulIllah they’re over and I’m not planning on seeing the insides of an exam room in a loooong while. In the three years of university what I learnt was mostly things about life, little to do with the books.

Salaam

EXAM STRESS IS HERE....so please laugh with me

SO SOME LAUGHTER KILLS THE FEAR....

My finals are coming up, and i have a month roughly to graduate. So no pressure, just sit back cram some statutes and laugh with me, not at me!

knowing too much too late

Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem

I was looking for something positive to write, it had seemed to be the breaking point. I had not realised the battle within myself. Only solitude showed me what I really felt. When I discover a fact, I’m a born broadcaster, a born reporter. I was given the name tattle tale in primary school for my apparent investigative gossipism.[1]

It has now morphed into attempted journalism. So when events in my life began unfolding, I reacted very strangely. If I were alone I would have no choice to reflect on implications and analyse the situation. But that would make me so alone. Aloner than alone. But I’m not (Alhamdulillahi Rabbil ‘alameen!) I’m not alone, and my partner is the ears and I’m an unstoppable uncontrollable gushing of verbal diarrhoea with the assistance of natural microphone that Allah blessed me with…its my fitna I have to learn to control. But I don’t. So….when events start unfolding and the veil is lifted from my eyes and I see the world for what it really is today, I am in a longitudinal state of shock. And it lasts long!!!!!!!!!! But in the mean time, before I can face any pain in the truth, I start chattering uncontrollable like a monkey….yea today I’m really laying it heavy on myself. And to whose poor ears does this damning news fall on, the naïveté ears of my darling. I can see, better yet I can feel the sadness and despair that overwhelms him but the usual feigned nonchalance that the male species can so eloquently use to mask their quivering sissy knees is put on.
Poor guy…so back to me! I had a moment of truth today, when my father corroborated my darkest fears. I’m daddy’s little girl, always have, always will be…and when he says the sky is yellow I believe him. But today I said the sky was yellow and he said in not so many words, of course didn’t you know?

We talked on a matter of things….
The continuous rape and pillage, plots and permanent slavery of the richest continent on earth, Africa
The attack on monotheism and the truth in particular, Islam…….

And there I realised the change in myself. Something happened, I cannot say that I controlled it because trust me I could have continued living in that stinky bubble for all my life, I saw something that engaged my heart, my nafs, Allah could be the only reason behind it. Something strange happened and suddenly my focus was violently pulled away from Big Brother, Paris, Vogue and all the mundane things designed to rot our brains and starve our souls.

[1] Fake word

tODAY, NOW AND what i know

BISMILLAHI RAHMANI RAHIM

I’m trying not to look directly into the light as it has scalded my heart. The red hydrogen ridden sun, like the corruption infesting the world is at arms length. It has burnt my virgin skin that had previously been cocooned under the protective shelter of my Nairobi abode. This will be a symbolism this will be an attempted regurgitation of my heart’s hopeless cry. Has it always been this dark, it appears so. I had been seeing with the outer eyes and blinding, maiming the truth that sees within.
I’ve been re-learning, re-socialising, re-conditioning, what a stupid stupid stupid girl I was. Stupid. With a capital S. I knew not what I’m finding out now everyone else pretty much figured. Or did they learn from their parents, were mine too protective to tell me the ugliness of this world and its people? (and there I go finding some way to trace the blame back to my sweet parents.) The extent to which I had been deceived is colossal! And it’s magnitude seems to be echoed and echoed like a stab in the back further and further into my flesh every time I someone tells me they knew it all along. So pardon me if I’m shouting, if I’m teaching because I’m barely learning. I don’t want to know any more. This deception is like a deep dark bottomless hole. SubhanAllah, only You can help mankind.
And the worst part is that the enemy is unseen, the enemy is as old as the dusty mountains. As strong as the waves crashing into oblivion, and Allah Ta’alah said, and We have created a group of people so strong, so strong that no one can beat them except I….
So I sit in these constructions called buildings, inhale deeply something that used to be known as fresh air, even that is corrupted, drinking something that was clean water, and will finally rest in what used to be clean earth.

BETRAYAL OF THE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM

“I’d only send my son to university if he had no talent”. –Henry Makow PhD.

Ha! A Professor denouncing further education? After giving that statement a lot of thought I began questioning whether I was actually learning in university. Was I being taught anything, really? Will I ever be able to think independently again, have my own opinion without by default thinking in the way I was instructed to think about that particular issue? Are the issues in the curriculum ones we need to be staying up all night to be pondering about?


The struggle for “enlightenment”, an intellectual movement dating from the Eighteenth Century, a program to create a new secular world order devoid of any reference and indeed denying the existence of God and immutable natural and spiritual laws targeted schools, colleges and universities. Art students studying atheist artists who are presented as if they were Gods, their professors acting as high priests. Like deaf men tuning a piano, medical students try to explain the human condition without any reference to the Creator, Design or man's Divine Spirit. They portray mankind as a forlorn animal in an amoral world, characterized by a merciless struggle for survival.


Modern education and culture is designed to make us dysfunctional. We are at the hands of a few, a few with all the power; the media, politics and financial systems. "In order to effect the destruction of all collective forces except ours we shall emasculate the first stage of collectivism, the universities, by re-educating them in a new direction. We must introduce into their education all those principles which have so brilliantly broken up their order."(Protocol 2, Protocols of the Elders of Zion) We shall turn them into "unthinking submissive brutes waiting for things to be presented before their eyes in order to form an idea of them..." Just think now of the power of advertising, the bombardment of images, stereotypes and distortion of information in our media. Just a recent example is the invasion and genocide in Gaza that has been broadly labelled as “Tension in the Middle East”. The reporter's scripts vaguely run as follows: Israel wanted a sustainable ceasefire; Israel needed to prevent Hamas from rearming; Hamas targets were hit; Israel was sending in aid and letting the injured out; Israel was doing "everything they can to alleviate the humanitarian crisis" when in the reality of Israel’s war crimes are conveniently shielded from our minds.


A 1930's Communist manual on brainwashing stated "In the United States we have been able to alter the works of William James, and others, ...and to place the tenets of Karl Marx, Pavlov, Lamarck, and the data of Dialectic Materialism into the textbooks of psychology, to such a degree that anyone thoroughly studying psychology becomes at once a candidate to accept the reasonableness of Communism. As every chair of psychology is occupied by persons in our connection, the consistent employment of such texts is guaranteed... Educating broadly the educated strata of the populace into the tenets of Communism is thus rendered relatively easy." (II, Ch. 11)
- Soviet Art of Brainwashing, textbook on psychopolitics.


Furthermore, I seem to bump into the same practice that I am expected to do to get a good degree, to bow down before “great men”. These scholars and philosophers are a.k.a. modern pretenders usurping the place of God. Their every utterance is treated as Holy Writ. Professors are the overpaid priests of this secular cult. With the Graduation, we are initiated into a life long habit of servility. All knowledge comes from Great Men. Students can only aspire to analyze their meaning. A student’s state of mind becomes passive and disorientated. Where were the days of my father when university students were voices, really loud voices, speaking against the system. Don't these "great men" live in the same world? Isn't it the one I live in? Dare I think for myself?


By continually studying the past, the student thinks nothing remains to be done. No manifestos remain to be written, no Bastilles need to be stormed. While the world cries out for leadership, the new generation is buried in musty manuscripts writing footnotes to dead men.
The Rockefellers regard human beings as domestic animals. This is implied in "Occasional Paper #1" of their General Education Fund:"In our dreams, we have limitless resources and the people yield themselves with perfect docility to our moulding hands. The present educational conventions fade from our minds, and unhampered by traditions, we work our own good will upon a grateful and responsible rural folk. We shall not try to make these people or any of their children into philosophers or men of learning, or of science. We have not to raise up from them authors, poets or men of letters. We shall not search for embryo great artists, painters, musicians, nor lawyers, doctors, preachers, politicians, statesmen of whom we have ample supply. The task we set before ourselves is very simple as well as a very beautiful one, to train these people as we find them to a perfectly ideal life just where they are."
("The Rockefeller Empire" in Josephson, "The Strange Death of FDR" 1948, p. 69)


If you haven't noticed, universities are not places of invigorating inquiry and debate. They are stagnant backwaters that reek of moral compromise and disillusionment.
The world will not be saved by acts of God but acts of men representing God. Our duty is to take these ideals seriously in our personal lives and bring them into the world. The cost of rejecting God is to become slaves of very bad men.

AWAKENING OF THE LIFE CHANGING KIND

Has any one moment marked a turning point in your life?


Changing thought processing, hurling a wave of iman on whoseover stands in its way. There's something strange going on. There's an awakening of sorts. Mu’mins are arising and a portion of the disbelievers are turning a new chapter and coming into the only true way of being. Islam Mashallah is the fastest growing religion. The statistics are there ( http://www.islamicweb.com/begin/results.htm) , the new wave of hijabis the new population in the masjids.


Mashallah, what I fear is the hadith of the Holy Prophet SAW may quicky come to pass. The blessed Messenger had said will be a sign of qiyamah that “The nations of the earth will gather against the Muslims like hungry people going to sit down to a table full of food. This will occur when the Muslims are large in number, but "like the foam of the sea". And when you watch videos like this (http://www.sott.net/articles/show/173084-Sickening-Pro-Israel-Rally-Attended-by-Big-Time-NY-Dems-Descends-into-Calls-for-Wiping-Out-Palestinians) and even though we border 1.5 billion they (the whole world who kisses the feet of the terrorist state Israel) walk over us and laugh behind the curtains. I have deviated from whole point of the article I’m writing. The intelligence revolution. People are waking up, if you haven’t you need to let the sun in and get out of bed. I used to think of myself very as very well informed. Bought a newspaper every other day, watched the news everyday, was at the heat of the breaking news, punching in the key words on the search engines. They say Ignorance is bliss. I say only if that bliss is being a sheep, being herded by the ones who are ‘in the know’. If ignorance is bliss, then I strive to be unblissified.


My journey began when a friend sent me a group invite on facebook, to join www.wakeupproject.com . Those who have watched the Arrivals series also on youtube by the brothers Noreaga and Anchennar will know the moving and inspirational content of the videos. They are immensely powerful. Through them, I woke up and embraced the one in me I was trying to suppress. The one this world was trying to disfigure, the most powerful aspect of myself, my spiritual tie to Allah Subhanna Wa Taa’ala! We have to realize first of all that we are spiritual beings. Media, school, politics all focus on one dimension. Something is being suppressed, the celebration of secularization and disbelief in any Spiritual Being, denial of Our Creator is encouraged, welcome and this leads to empty lives.

Secondly, we are living in a matrix. Not quite far fetched was the movie was it? Materialism is the new religion, striving never ends. To be thinner, to be richer, to be prettier, to be more ‘pumped’, to be popular, to be attractive. If money is what makes the world go round, then why is it just paper? This cycle of materialism is crashing, crashing with the economy. What will the people do when there is no money? There has to be deeper life than that the one we are sold to. The American dream is rigged! Because we have been lured out of the masjids and into the malls, we have become spiritually defunct. This is only dunia. There’s nothing like ‘living for the moment’. There is no moment. If you say ‘now’, it is ‘then’, we are going somewhere after this, everyday closer and closer.

I remember when I was a little girl in madrasa and the Usthadha Arafat used to scare us kids about the signs of the Qiyamah, and I always used to tell myself reassuringly, ‘by the time it comes I’ll be sooo old and I’ll start being a good muslim when I’m like sixty, I’m still young so I can forget about all this and enjoy my life.’ But what if it’s not so far away. We are living the end times. Dajjal is here. I don’t mean to scare people but the person himself Dajjal is not yet here, but his system already is. (http://www.youtube.com/results?search_type=&search_query=imran+hosein+dajjal&aq=f)
My goal is just to educate if you know, you know, if you don’t now you know and we can all be as strong of an Ummah as our Rasul SAW would have liked fighting until Allah sends down the mercy of Imam Mahdi and Isa AS. Until then, the information war, psychological war began a long time. Freedom of thought, freedom to the truth. Salaam Alaykum!

MANHOOD WOMANHOOD PRIDE IN OUR NATURES

Fact: I LOVE BEING A WOMAN ....
and everything that comes with it. The femininity, the vulnerability, the whole cliché damsel in distress hallaballlooo! But it must be said, that there is a certain strength in a woman that no man can posess. If a man gave birth he would die! Anyway, I’m not looking forward to that aspect of birth BUT the gentleness in the nature of women is all part of her attraction. Sadly, for some reason femininity is waning and it’s slowly fading into oblivion.


Another fact: I LOVE MAN. As in a REAL MAN. Someone gentle enough to hold his anger but yet strong enough to make a woman feel protected. A man who leads. A man who is an authority. Again where is this kind of man. These days men are strange creatures. Special breeds you have to analyse. You have your metrosexual man, your gay man, your camp man, your commitment phobe, your womaniser man, the stalker dude among others. The original copy was lost somewhere in the caves together with bin Laden.

WHERE ARE THESE PEOPLE?

The woman and the man, the yin and the yan, the alpha and omega, the acid and the alkali. Ok, I think you get me now.

I’m going to analyse an ayat of the Holy Quran and try show how one of the most beautiful things on Earth, Marriage is being, and has partially or wholly in some cases been destroyed in our communities. To do that I must give you a little insight of what I believe and what certain facts and research has led me to conclude. I studied history in college, in fact it was one of my favourite subjects, but to my shock I have been fed lies. There is an agenda behind every incident. Things don’t happen by accident and there are people who gain tremendously from wars and violence. Simple example is the massive billion dollar bidding by multinational construction firms for rebuilding of Iraq which the Iraqis will eventually have to pay for. They pay the attackers to fix what was destroyed. (http://www.usatoday.com/educate/college/business/articles/20030330.htm)
What injustice in this dunia!
Ok what about…Afghanistan? (http://www.thetruthseeker.co.uk/article.asp?ID=5285) Well, before the invasion the heroin black market was barely staying afloat. The CIA is one of the biggest dealers! (http://www.dissidentvoice.org/2008/09/crashed-jet-carrying-cocaine-linked-to-cia/)
Anyway, you get the picture. Deception in every corner. Call me paranoid or just not too scared to know the truth. (http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig/shaffer8.html) The idea that people plan something without telling the intended victims is too farfetched!
There was Nabi Suleiman AS who Allah Ta’alah gave the power to speak to and command the wind, animals and the Jinn.
And to Solomon (We made) the Wind (obedient): Its early morning (stride) was a month's (journey), and its evening (stride) was a month's (journey); and We made a Font of molten brass to flow for him; and there were Jinns that worked in front of him, by the leave of his Lord, and if any of them turned aside from our command, We made him taste of the Penalty of the Blazing Fire. [Qur'an 34:12
And when Nabi Suleiman AS died, it is said he had buried a book with all the secrets of the communication with Jinn. By the conquering of Babylon, the Knights Templar were said to have found it and below is the ayat explaining what power the elite have, the ones behind the puppet presidents. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqSHPPmTPmY)

Almighty Allah says: "And follow that which the devils falsely related against the kingdom of Solomon. Solomon disbelieved not; but the devils disbelieved, teaching mankind magic and that which was revealed to the two angels in Babel, Harut and Marut. Nor did they (the two angels) teach it to anyone till they had said: We are only a temptation, therefore disbelieve not (in the guidance of Allah). And from these two (angels) people learn that by which they cause division between man and wife; but they injure thereby no one save by Allah's leave. And they learn that which harm them and profit them not. And surely they do know that he who traffic therein will have no (happy) portion in the Hereafter; and surely evil is the price for which they sell their souls, if they but knew." (Al-Baqarah: 102

“they cause division between man and wife”
The Rockefellers, Ya Allah the discord they have brought between man and woman. Not only them, a bunch of fat cats sitting bored with counting their money and looking to get more and more. Please watch: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cgl_N0THFs&feature=related)
http://www.think-aboutit.com/Omega/files/omega29.htm
WOMEN’S RIGHTS
I’m not going to deny that I feel betrayed, but the blame should have been on me. I deviated and ran off with the idea of liberation and ‘we don’t need men’ when I was younger but to realise it was planned and the women of the ’free’ world were duped was hard to swallow. I blame myself because the only place I should have searched for my women’s rights is in the Quran and the sunnah of the Prophet SAW.
So in this era where a woman has to be tough to go to work , even in the army…when a woman is equal to a man. From my understanding, once a muslimah is a mother, actually even before that, the man is the provider. She doesn’t HAVE TO go to work. Being a mother is work itself. Some women some places have to work or there’s no food. The husband doesn’t care. They chip in equally even if the man is earning more. She’s working 2 jobs at times and being a mother, Mashallah. This kind of life makes a woman hard, tough. She’s at the battlefield at work, competing with men. Rivalry with men. It’s a tough life. So when the husband comes back from work, and the wife comes from work, he finds no comfort. He may turn to other women, but what if all the women he knows have morphed into this new woman. There is comfort in another man.


In surat Layl, the Quran states in its first three ayats:
1) CONSIDER the night as it veils [the earth] in darkness,

(2) and the day as it rises bright!

(3) Consider the creation of the male and the female!

There is a symbolism, the woman being as the night and we can see women are hard to read, with many emotions and the men open like the day. The stark difference must also be noted. The day cannot try and be like the night, the night cannot try and be like the day.
Also this race for the riches, working like donkeys leaves no time for children. Children are a burden so they abort (http://www.abortionno.org/Resources/fastfacts.html) and those who have them put them in daycare. Those children will never forget. Another sign of qiyamah is people will not want children.


Ultimately the goal is population decrease so that there’s more resources for them. The elite just loves birth control. Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, Ted Turner are among the ultra rich that have donated billions to spreading the gospel of contraception, abortion, and feminism using the United Nations and "US Aid." Rockefeller funded the invention of the pill, the IUD and owns the rights to the abortion drug RU-486. In the last 50 years, billions of public dollars have been spent on "family planning" designed to limit population by deceit and coercion, including compulsory abortion and infanticide. In "The War Against Population (1988)," Dr. Jacqueline Kasun writes that in 1981, a directory of population control agencies in Washington DC listed 92 private (but mostly publicly funded) agencies, 12 United Nations and 57 agencies of the US government (p. 198). "The real problem of government family planning is not one of families out of control but of planners out of control," she wrote (p.211).
For the same reason, the Elite is behind "sexual liberation" and "gay liberation." Through funding and media control, they make us regard sex as a recreation/physical release rather than as the expression of a spiritual bond (i.e. a loving marriage) resulting in children. Some say we are suffering from underpopulation. The US birthrate has been cut from 4 to 2 children per woman, the European and Canadian is 1.5. (We need 2.2 just for replacement.) Russia (1.17 children) will see its population plummet from 145 million to 115 million by 2015. In the "Death of the West," Pat Buchanan argues that population decline is responsible for the inevitable extinction of the West.


In the bible of modern feminism, "The Feminine Mystique" (1963) Betty Frieden makes this obscene comparison between housewives and Nazi concentration camp inmates! Can you see the deception. They are demonising motherhood, the most beautiful thing on Earth to me is a mother’s love for her children. And there’s a psychological illness today called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for women who despise their children after they pop them out!
Reproduction requires the most delicate care. In the case of human beings, the female must be prepared for motherhood and honored for her contribution to society. The male must be shown that the standard of manhood is to provide leadership and sustenance for mother and children. Both mother and father must be able to give their children intellectual and spiritual guidance.
Instead, in schools and universities, the tender shoots of feminine sexuality are crushed under the feminist jackboot. Young women are taught that heterosexual sex, marriage and family are inherently oppressive. Homosexuality on the other hand is an act of rebellion that is "chic" and "normal."


All I can say is its time to embrace who we are and what we can bring to this world. I am a woman. I have a mind, yes and intelligence. I educate myself and will work but when I have the HONOUR InshAllah to be a mother, that role is one I will cherish. What is at stake is another human being’s life. Children are being left infront of the TVs and that’s where they will learn what to think who to be, and the mother will be questioned on Judgement day. A woman has the biggest duty, and it is rewarded. It must be respected by husbands and appreciated. Nothing in this earth is as unwavering like the love of a believing mother.

May Allah bestow love and purpose in all reading this, Ameen! The only way to fight the attempted destruction of our natural dispositions as men and women is to prove them wrong. And that we shall, Ameen!